my own questions

Who, What, Where, Why, How.

Who might have been.

What might have happened.

Where are you in my life.

Why couldn't it work out.

How did that happen.

These are some of the biggest questions that I have in my life as I turned 30 late last year. Most of my friends had this crisis, back when they were 25. I always thought of myself as a late bloomer. Late to graduate. Late to enter the workforce. Heck, even late to realize to give importance to health. And, late to watch the video above.

Looking back, I have had a lifetime of love, pain, joy, and sorrow. Some lasting, some fleeting. Some serious, some casual. It all remains the same. I was happy. I was hurt. I sulked. I moved on. Lately, these 5 questions haunt me every single night I am alone with my thoughts.

WHO.

WHAT.

WHERE.

WHY.

HOW.

Life choices. These answer the 5 questions above and they have changed over time. 

Adolescence: Who was that girl?! What are we drinking later?? Where's the party? Why do we have homework? How did I pass that class?

Late teens to early 20's: Who were you with last night? What, she's pregnant? Where can I work? Why do we have to go to grad practice? How did I pass that class???

Being 30 is not easy. But others will digress. It's not easy being a teen. Being 20's. Being middle aged. Being a father. Being a brother. Being a son. So now this is what I am concerned with:

WHO am I?

WHAT am I to myself and others?

WHERE am I going?

WHY am I like this?

HOW can I do better?

You see, even in watching a video like above, I can relate it to what I am feeling in this particular juncture in my life. 

I better get a move on to answer those. But I wont be in a hurry. I'll take my sweet damn time.

Why now?

Why now? It is somehow the question that haunts us after we make a life decision. 2 years ago, I made a big step towards getting better. Last year, I was not so sure anymore. The answers I hoped to find only help me arrive at more questions. Why do I have to be attracted to you all of a sudden?

Clash of the superhero mega-movies

WOW. Avengers 2: Age of Ultron and Superman vs Batman? Not too mention Days of Future Past? SD Comic Con is always geek heaven with nerdgasms every corner. Growing up I idolized these characters who only existed in ink, paper and celluloid (after my parents of course). This reminds me of a particular moment in time that I kind of knew that I was emotionally and mentally changing. I remembered that I first idolized Superman because he was indestructible (damn you Doomsday). HE HAS ICY BREATH. HE HAS HEAT/XRAY VISION. HE CAN FLY. OH WAIT, HE CAN FUCKING FLY AND TURN BACK TIME. 

LOISSSSSSSSS (RAGE)

whoosh whoosh

Then came THE BATMAN.

WHERE IS SHE? oops. wrong movie.

I "discovered" Batman while I was in grade school. I was fucking freaked out of the Joker and his make up and his maniacal laughter and his 10 ft gun.

BANG

Batman became my favorite because of one simple fact. HE WAS HUMAN. He bled like the rest of us. He relied on his will and wits more than anyone else. Yes he may be rich, but he used it for good. Yes he may have used gadgets, but even us humans needed tools in order to get by and survive. He was a freaking detective, maybe the best detective outside of Sherlock Holmes and Dick Tracy. And he beat the bad guys without even killing them (hence his strictest principle).

Sorry this will be a DC-centric post but my Marvel post will come soon. Ciao.

Post Graduate Degrees in the 21st Century

A lot of of my colleagues and high school friends are enrolled in different grad schools. This begs me to ask the question if grad school is needed to succeed especially in a corporate setting. Coming from a second tier college in my country, I have deduced that I do need this in advancing my career and to help me better prepare for a life in business once I decide to leave the corporate rat race. But do I REALLY need this? Am I just wasting my time and money reviewing what I have already learned in college and in my 5 years working? I do home I reap the rewards once I finish this in 2 years.

Travel When Able

A friend once told me to invest in travels, "because material possessions can fade and diminish, but memories and moments live on forever". This was way back in 2007. I dismissed the thought because I was obsessed in making money and just being a homebody. A BIG MISTAKE. I felt like I wasted 4 years of my life. Now I am nearing my 30's (NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!) and I am just starting to love traveling. 2012 provided this avenue for me. I started traveling after I broke up with my ex. The first steps (baby steps for that matter) were short road trips. Day trips here and there. Got kind of used to it. Booked a couple of flights (beach destinations of course). Wow. Then I have realized that I have not been really living my life. There is so much beauty in traveling. I also found beauty in the unknown. It made me embrace adventure like never before. I work in a high stress environment and we are pretty much governed by policies and procedures alike. Everything here is based on processes. Point A to Point B to Point C and so on. Methodical. Repetitive. Boring. Traveling made me break out of my shell. Yes, planning helped me in organizing my itineraries and trips, but it was the fundamental mystery that provided the X-factor of the experience. The uncertainty of knowing what to expect. I can be befuddled and engorged in pictures of places I haven't been to but it will never compare once you are truly there. The majesty of a picturesque lake. The serenity of the wide open sea. The tranquility of a lush forest. It does indeed calm the nerves. It made me love life. It helped me in carrying on to my next phase. Thank you. You know who you are.